In "The Mother's Tale" by Ai, a mother instills in her son the idea that religion states that a man must beat his wife to remind her that he is the reason she is alive. Despite how utterly outrageous such a claim is, there are surely people in this world who honestly share the same belief. I know for a fact that some will just blame this on religious extremism but those are probably the same people who make excuses for those who commit other crimes from stealing to sexual assault and everything in between.
Juanito's mother describes one incident where she was violent with him by telling the story of when "...there was a ballroom in Lima where...your father danced with another woman and I cut him across the cheek with a pocketknife," showing she also had a violent streak to her. While these actions would be glorified by some on twitter, with people saying just how much of a badass she was for going at him for cheating on her, a sensible human being would see that those kinds of physical actions are warning signs in themselves.
But still, she goes on to ask a pretty valid question: "how free is a woman?" Technically: as free as a man. Realistically: not so much. But instead of going on a rampage about how women are restricted by society's hypersexualization of literally ANYTHING they do, she starts talking about ... sin?
And somehow "Eve's sin" is a man's free pass to beat his wife whenever the hell he feels like it? His MOTHER is telling him that his WIFE must know that he can TAKE !! HER !! LIFE !! "more easily than she creates it." IN WHAT WORLD?
"It's a generation gap !! No one actually believes this now !!" someone's probably yelling at their screen. Y'all if I've learned anything in my life it's that some people will believe ANYTHING that's told to them by an elder family member. And to some, if that means beating your wife in the name of the Good Lord then so be it.
Even with the amount of Bible references made throughout this entire poem, anyone who believes in the tellings of the Bible would also realize that Hey !! Violence is bad !! It can kill people !! and Hey !! The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not kill." !!!!!
Under no circumstances, in the name of no one ever, is it acceptable to physically abuse anyone.It scares me to think that we live in a world where mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, ANYONE can be telling a loved one that they should be beating their loved one in the name of religion. That's not religion that's evil. And anyone that goes through with it is just as evil. If you're willing to do that in the name of religion what else are you willing to do? Some of the most "famous" atrocities to mankind have been blamed on religious beliefs.
Using "excuses" such as religion to do something as atrocious as physically abuse someone you claim to love, or anyone, to be honest, doesn't make you a "good" person. It doesn't make you someone who "follows the rules" of your religion. You are making a conscious decision to commit those acts. It makes you no better than some of the evilest human beings to exist in history. You literally have to RATIONALIZE your actions with religion. What does that tell you?
Some may say that there is more good than evil in the world but I don't and just can't bring myself to believe that anymore. Hearing the stories of friends, family members, friends of family members, and family members of friends who have been in situations where abuse either took or almost took a life or where it tore families apart has convinced me that despite what good is out there, there are too many forms of evil.
This poem has shown me that some of this evil isn't born, it's made. Most evil is. Some parents instill these insane beliefs into their children and their children are stupid enough to believe them, again a conscious decision on their part.
And even then, as the mother from Ai's "A Mother's Tale," has shown, it isn't just men who are always doing the beating. Women have just as much capability to be violent and excuse it with "I was being cheated on!" That's no excuse to hit anyone??? The worst part is that most people won't leave an abusive relationship out of fear either for their lives or the lives of others they love. People get away with this. People die from this. And more people in your life may be suffering from it than you know.
What kind of world are we living in? The kind that makes excuses for vile and life-threatening behavior. The kind that "rationalizes" this behavior, that rationalizes DOMESTIC. ABUSE. with anything that might work in getting the other party to keep quiet. The kind that barely and rarely does anything to help victims of abuse.
- Julissa G
Domestic abuse hotline: 800-621-4673
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